Wednesday, April 28, 2010

How old is too old to go back to school? And will they refer to me as the old lady in their study group?

I am weird, are you? There was a very distinct period in my mid 20's when I realized knowing this about myself gave me an incredible amount of self confidence. I decided instead of trying to change myself I was going to like the complex, sensitive, character voice for every occasion, wannabe gangster girl inside me. I realized all of my weird idiosyncrasies not only made me unique but also made me extremely valid. By owning this I came into my own.

I have been reflecting a lot this week as I am preparing to return to school. It takes a fair amount of self reflection to become the old lady at college. But starting June 1st that will be me!! Wish me luck I know I will need it. Secretly though, I cannot wait to go school supply shopping!!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sleeping under the veil of his Darth Vader mask...

Sorry I have been MIA. I forgot my stupid password for my blog!! Tells you just a little bit about the kind of week I am having. Hi. Are you as tired as I am?

I have felt so run down lately. It is strange because I know I am getting enough sleep. But is it good sleep that is the question? When I had my sleep study done to determine if I had Narcolepsy they told me I had Sleep Apnea as well. The stubborn person that I am refused to believe I needed a CPAP machine. Now I am beginning to wonder if I really did need it. Whatever stupid doctors just cause your robot machines say I have it doesn't make it so...ya right!!!. Anyway, in order to get my CPAP I would have to do another sleep study and I am none too thrilled about that!!.

My sleep study was a nightmare. I tossed and turned all night begging sleep to take over. Not only was it not my bed but I had wires attached to my head and chest. Adding fuel to the fire were the cameras watching and listening to my every move!! Finally having sighed dramatically for the 70th time (I am always trying to make a point by sighing...a little passive I know but whatever wroks :p), a voice came over the speaker, "What's wrong Jane?" What's wrong???????????????? "What is wrong with you perv," I wanted to shout!! Why are you getting paid to watch me sleep? It's creepy!! "Can I watch tv," I whispered to the creepy perv talking to me over the loud speaker. "No," she replied.

Anyway, you get the point! The whole thing was like someone chewing crunchy cereal in my ear!! So until I am ready to come face to speaker with my sleep study perv I will continue to suffer. I will fall asleepish listening to my hubby sleeping peacefully under the veil of his Darth Vader CPAP mask. Good times!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Inspirational Women

I try to constantly surround myself with inspirational women. Some of them are mothering, some of them are bitches with attitudes, and some of them are simply living their dreams. Whatever the case I am always inspired by their personal stories.

Today I had coffee with a very old friend of mine. We were very close friends a very long time ago but time and life took us in different directions. However, after all this time it felt very comfortable. I asked her to coffee because she is an Interior Designer with a lot of experience under her belt. She offered all kinds of wonderful advice as well as a homework assignment (although I am sure she had no idea she was giving an assignment out I am just that much of a dork dying for a new career path :))! She was an inspiration...a mother, a wife, a daughter, a business owner...a woman juggling it all (and juggling it very successfully I might add).

I am surrounded by so many woman like this because it moves me forward by showing me anything is possible in life. Of course some things come by way of sacrifice but most things come with the reward of true internal happiness. This post is for all the women who inspire me on a daily basis. Please know you all inspire me in so many different ways and I see how hard you all work to be happy, enlightened, confident, interesting, interested, mommy, wife, lover, friend, daughter. The list is endless but remember it does not go unnoticed. It is difficult to be a woman for so many reasons but for those of you who at the end of the day find yourselves truly happy, thank you for all the positive energy.

FYI Don't hate I just typed this on my new iPad :)!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Springtime in Old Hickory

What a glorious weekend!! The sun was out and it was not suffocatingly hot as of yet. This time of year is why we are lucky to live in this part of the country. Saturday I dedicated the day to making jewelry while Z (unfortunately) had to spend the morning working. However, Saturday night we took advantage of one weekend without plans and relaxed. Today was yet another beautiful day. Z and I enjoyed dinner down at the marina. It is nights like tonight that make me happy to be alive. I hope everyone is taking advantage of the weather. It is so VERY important in this over scheduled, over committed world we live in to take time to be still and appreciate.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

And then there were three...

That is right I said, Z and Z's magic sleep machine. After close to 24 years of constant interrupted sleep, my husband slept like a baby. It actually ended up lulling me to sleep as well. The only down side is once that puppy is on he cannot talk. Those of you who know me well understand my distress as well as my bouts of pure joy. He cannot talk?!? He can only listen?!? I kid, I kid.

It was a strange night or was is it a short night? It is after all 5:20 on a Saturday morning and the only sound I hear, aside from the keyboard, is the gentle airflow of Z's CPAP. It will take some getting use to on my part. Z, however, is sleeping like a baby. The man hasn't had a decent night's sleep in over two must be amazing and I hope his dreams are in color.

I am actually a tad jealous. I know I have taken my issues with jealousy to a new low. But man what I would give for that kind of revitalizing sleep!! We shall see. I am sure this is the beginning of something life changing for Z and for that I am so happy. However I will miss our random "I can't sleep chats". Although I am positive he will not think twice about this loss during his newly found REM cycle ;)!!

That's it for now. Sweet REM cycles to you all! I am going to try to get lulled back to sleep for a couple of hours by that magic sleep machine we shall call HAL ;)!

Sleep machine says, "Thank you Jane. Is there anything I can do for you Jane?"