Saturday, June 26, 2010

How do you turn a new leaf, start a new chapter, teach an old dog new tricks?? I am ever stuck in a rut. I would give 10 thousand fig newtons to be able to lead by example when it comes to my own health and wellness. There is this god awful Schizophrenic voice inside my head that is constantly screaming at me, "Give up up now princess it can't be done. You are too old and too unabashedly unafraid of Chinese buffets!!" I mean seriously what god do I need to bride to catch a break around here. Is there no god of "your stomach is full now here is some pixie dust and now your head understands it"? Why couldn't my drug of choice been something I did not need to stay alive?? I hear great things about meth!!!

I kid, I kid. I am just a dog chasing my tail it seems. I am sure the key is mind over matter but my addict mentality would rather be stuffed than cleared. Am I alone? I feel like some days I cannot relate to anyone. While my husband's metabolism is slow as molasses, his will power is of super hero strength!! I keep searching for mine (schizo voice, this is a lie don't believe her) but have yet to find it.

So this is what I am going to try this week,

I am reading Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food. As a wannabe recovering compulsive over eater, I have decided to submerse myself in healthy food literature. My hope is that as I gain more knowledge on the subject of healthy eating I will, in turn, be able to navigate my way to recovery.

On a much lighter note I did finish my goals.


1week: wake up 45 min early every morning (did this once; yea me!!)

1month: complete my monogram short poster(pics to follow on completion of this one)

1year: be debt free (only house note)-currently working on this one!

5years: be in business for myself (I am currently working on breaking this one down week by week. But it feels so good to have a direction!!)


  1. You do have insight about the addiction, Jane. Going on 75 this year, I've battled weight issues all my life and, right now, I'm losing, but what you said is so true about mind. If we could but marry our mind to our stomach to stop, put on the brakes, etc., we would have more success. I've experienced many years at a healthy weight so I know it's something to keep working on; I just have to integrate that thought within my body. Courage!

  2. Courage to believe in yourself enough to think you can really do it this time is the key!!! We try to start new everyday! Good luck to you and thanks for commenting about your story. It is nice to not feel alone!!

  3. Reading that book just made me feel like a big jerk... for eating, I don't know, like anything I normally eat. And for not wanting to spend two hours in my kitchen every day, churning my own butter or whatever. My only realistic (but yet ambitious) takeaway, if I had to pick just one, was to avoid high fructose corn syrup. Otherwise, interesting reading, but COME ON!

    Like your blog.

  4. I agree completely. I don't know food is such a frustrating subject for me. All I want is inexpensive locally grown super foods to magically appear in my kitchen and then go ahead and prepare themselves for my family. Is that really too much to ask??